Connection has a simple definition, but is harder to actually quantify. According to dictionary.com, connection is the state of being connected… but what does it mean to be connected? Well, to connect is defined as
1: to join, link, or fasten together; unite or bind:
2: to establish communication between; put in communication:
3: to have as an accompanying or associated feature:
So, connection would then be joining with, communicating with, or accompanying a person (since people are what we’re talking about right now!). Working with this definition leads me to two things:
Connection must be intentionally pursued, and, what you connect with (consciously or not) may end up being part of how people identify you!
The Importance of Connecting With Yourself
When was the last time that you took to connect to yourself? Your inner being?
To simply sit with your thoughts, emotions, and process without judgment? To examine your motivations? It may sound silly, but self-awareness and connection to your actual thoughts + emotions can not only improve your relationships with others, but also help you achieve your high-performance lifestyle!
When I was going through my coaching certification program, one of the first things that we learned about, and how to identify, was something they call your “MoFa” – short for “Motivating Factor” – the why behind your why. Identifying your Motivating Factor becomes important when you want to change your life, to uplevel your habits, and to reach the pinnacle of your potential. You have to identify not just what you want, but why you truly want it! Want to guess what discovering your MoFa requires?
Yep! Self-Connection. Self-connection can be defined, for our purposes, as intentionally spending time to listen to your feelings, to hear your thoughts, and to process and reflect on your desires.
Connecting With Others
If Connection with Self is intentionally spending time listening to your own thoughts, feelings, and desires, can you guess what Connection with others is?
Yep! Intentionally spending time listening to their thoughts, feelings, and desires! Now, true connection goes both ways – both listening and being listened to. And connection happens on different levels; the connection that I have with my husband is not the same as the connection I have with my kids is not the connection I have with my friend is not the connection I have with my mother.
The one thing that all these connections do have in common, though, is intentionality, vulnerability, and respect. Vulnerability? Respect? Yes! To communicate your own thoughts, feelings, and desires inherently requires the willingness to open up – vulnerability. And for someone else to be willing to open up to you requires that you respect their perceptions and viewpoints, even if you don’t agree. These are a few reasons that connection, while so vitally important, can be so very difficult.
Connection starts with awareness
Connection is important because it gives life meaning, even and especially in your high-performance lifestyle. Connection gives you the reason behind your desires, a reason to put in the effort. So, now we know why connection is important… but how does it start? Connection begins with awareness. Awareness of your own thoughts and feelings, and awareness of other people as well. It requires intentionally pursuing the link between you, and being willing both to listen and to express yourself.
If you’re not sure how to start connecting – with yourself or others – that’s ok!
Helping you identify and uplevel habits as you pursue freedom in your lifestyle is my passion as a Habit Change Specialist – and that includes the habits that you carry in your relationships. If you know that you need some help upleveling this area of your life, schedule a call.